Marriage vs. Civil Unions...

The fight that started many moons ago is still raging on in America. Lets look at one of the most powerful pieces of paper in America. Not the Bible, but the Declaration of Independence. This is the most cherished symbol of liberty and freedom. Thomas Jefferson drafted it between June 11 and June 28, 1776. 56 representatives of the founding thirteen colonies signed this symbol on July 4, 1776. In this declaration is the words, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” We are not all created equal when my partner and I do not have the same rights granted by the government as married people do.

There are many people who look at Mark and I and think that they shouldn’t have rights. Gay people do not deserve to be put in the same category as their heterosexual counterparts. They do not deserve to be in the same type of relationship that most straight people are in. Lets look at the definition of marriage and civil union from Webster’s.

Marriage:
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b : the mutual relation of married persons : WEDLOCK c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

Civil Union:
The legal status that ensures to same-sex couples specified rights and responsibilities of married couples.

Although Merriam-Webster defines marriage with “same sex”, this is anything but the truth in America (except Massachusetts). Gay people are not allowed to marry in 49 states and in most states they are not allowed to adopt together, but that is another post. My mother told me one day she felt that most gay people will be able to get a civil union in America, but marriage would not happen. Why is this? Except for the Bible being misquoted by so many, there is no law (God or man) that prohibits me from loving any person I want. There is no reason that I shouldn’t be allotted the same benefits that “straight” people have.

First of all, what is Marriage? When people marry, they tend to do so for reasons of love and commitment. But marriage is also a legal status, which comes with rights and responsibilities. Marriage establishes a legal kinship between you and your spouse. It is a relationship that is recognized across cultures, countries and religions.

Civil Unions only exist in two places, Vermont and Connecticut – with New Jersey not far behind. Civil Unions do not follow the people into any other state, even ones that have Civil Unions. This is a nice benefit to have in Vermont, but if we decide to leave, what is going to happen then? If I get sick and I’m in the hospital on my deathbed, Mark can be banned from my room. The doctors don’t have to tell him anything, because I am not a “next of kin”. Don’t think this can happen. Check out these two website – Not Next of Kin and Until We Win Equality

Mark and I have been told by our lawyer and the adoption agency that if we travel, we need to carry all the baby’s paperwork with us at all times. Even though we will adopt together and both our names will be on the document, two men traveling with a child will seem suspicious to some people. If we cannot produce the paperwork, we could be held until we get things cleared up. Does this happen to “straight” married people? No!

So the next time you hear “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness”, this is why gay people fight so hard to have the same respect and equality that straight people take for granted. We want to be able to care for the person that we cherish. We want to know that when something happens, we can be there with our loved ones. And when that fateful days arrives and one goes to a better place, I want to know that I have a house to live in and the government will not come and take my child, my house, my life away from me because we were not allowed the same rights – although “all men are created equal”.