Home Study...

A home study can take anywhere from 3-6 months – depending on many factors. Our home study consisted of two visits our social worker. There is a minimum of two visits, but could go to many more if the social worker felt she needed them. The first visit we had been at the adoption agency. The second was at our home where the social worker could see our home, our neighborhood, and tell us of any dangers that they feel needs to be fixed.

Since Mark and I were ready to go forward with the adoption, we set up a meeting while we were at the “Get Acquainted Weekend”. We took home some papers that we had to fill out. They consisted of various questions that pertained to our past (any problems, concerns, arrest), both of our family’s history (any abuse, substance abuse, and how we got along with them), and what we were doing today and how we plan on raising our child. The first part of our first interview deals with Mark and I as a couple. Did Mark know everything about me and vise versa. How we felt about each other and what problems we foresee with adopting.

The first part of the first meeting lasted about and hour and then she separated us. We each had to talk with our social worker on an individual basis, which lasted around an hour each. She asked us questions about our family life, home life, how we felt about the other and what kind of parent we felt we would make. She also asked how we felt about the other’s parenting abilities. Mark and I had no concerns about any of this. We have talked many hours about our concerns, problems we would/may face and how we see each other as a parent.

The second meeting was at our home. The agency is not doing a white glove test (thank god – we would never pass with four animals); they want to check out the home you intend to share with this new life. This meeting lasted about two hours. She looked checked out every room as well as the yard. Then she sat and talked with us again. We went over everything that we talked about during the first meeting. She did tell us that we needed to fix some things in the house and outside. She thanked us and told us that she needed to write it up and she would send it to us to proof and we should be done.

This all happened in May and June. We got the report from her sometime in the fall and yes we did request it from her many times. When we got it both Mark and I sat down and read it over the weekend. We emailed it back to her and waited. And waited. And waited. Around November we finally got the final Home Study (with some mistakes – grammar), but we had it. We gave the OK and sent it back. The next step on this ride was waiting for our social worker to get nine copies notarized and three sent back to us.

Why three you may ask. Well there are some states (around 45) that will not recognize Mark and my relationship. They will only adopt to married couples. Even though Mark and I have a civil union in Vermont, these states don’t see us as a couple. We would not be allowed to adopt together. So there are three Home Studies, Mark’s, mine and ours.

We redacted all three and sent them to the agency for our files. These redacted copies will be given to the birth mother and her lawyers if requested. So all together our home study took more than eight months. So with our home study done, we are now ready to go live – Nope, not just yet. We need to do our profile.